IM SORRY

hey people!

i know i know its beena while since my last blog.

well lets see here... i still dont have a job here in stillwater, ok.

last week i was so bored and frustrated that last thursday night ( may 10th ) i had decided to call my old boss in Mcalester and asked hom if he needed help. well he was so happy and he put me on schedule. So i went home the next day hung out with friends and momma. It was weird bein back "home".

well i pulled 12 hours on sat. 10 hours on sunday and 6 hours both on monday and tuesday...then wednesday and today i just chilled. Finally came back HOME to stillwater.

so for those 4 days i got an easy $200+check. i needed it. i could stay and work but i had to come back and take care of house and look for job up here.

*sighs... i kinda dont want to go look for jobs casue i feel like its a waste of time.. u know? but i know i know, i cant give up..... and i wont.. for now.. :)

love ya people!

Hmm....

well people, another week/weekend gone by. Still no job. Been studying and taking those stupid finals for school.

the bright thing, i finally moved into the apartment off campus over the weekend. My mom came up and brought a uhual truck full of junk. :) Moved in friday and i can honestly say its all set up and now my new "HOME" already by yesterday. I would have gone out with friends but i decided no money, no go and plus i was excited about the house and i wanted it all set up.

i got 2 finals out of the way, and one more to take on this friday. Im tryin not to be all stressed out, but its hard when u not have a job, got bills to pay with no money, got finals to study for happening all at once. i wanna go crazy..but then i have no one around me to calm me down so therefor i stay calm..haha... or so i say.

i cant wait to start goin back to the gym next week... that may help a little. is hould go this week but im lookin for jobs, and studying and cleanin up the last bit of the house.

ah yes the apartment....2 bedrooms, 1 bath. Kitchen with dishwasher, living room. i love it.. $500 with all bills paid....its me and a roomate from high school. Hoepfully soon ill take sum pics and post it up.

well........ i duno wat else to say. i have alot to say but just cant get it out for sum reason. hmm weird.

*Sighs

oh wat a weekend....

I mean i had quit my job last Friday night.. All that night i was depressed, but Saturday i was very happy. Knowing i didn't have to go to a place to put up with the B.s. and wearing a fake smile.

Instead i went to a few places and filled out some applications.. Job is a job. I don't care where i go. I just want the employers to give me a chance to prove them i can do the job! and if i cant, then bummer. maybe we can work something out. I don't think there has been a situation where i could not successfully do "something" and if i couldn't.....we modified a few things and then it was a success!

That Saturday night i had plans to stay home and play video games and be a bum. ha ha
that didn't happen. i ended up goin out and hanging out with a few friends at the bar. Shoot some pool and danced a few songs. well i tried to dance anyways.

It was a good night.

Today i was lazy! enjoyed it to. but kinda got sad again cause i got to thinking about wat if "they" don't hire me? wat can i do? and even school is killing me. Got a final on Tuesday to be ready for. and then a final this Thursday and one NEXT week...

I'm not as stressed out about the finals as i am about the financial situation i am in. No Jobs means no bills will be paid.. That's wat I'm worried about...

Mom told me not to worry.. but I'm a worry wart. or whatever they call me. I'm sure ill pull it off and find a better job and ill be happier. everything happens for a reason. that i do believe. even tho some events in my life has been tragic, tough, rough, and not so great. Its those events that makes me stronger.... right?

well....wish me luck this week...i hope i get a job..

Another First

wow... i know im supposed to continue a blog to talk more about me... but tonight will be different but yet you will know and learn more about me...

Tonight i had done something i thought i'd never do...

I had QUIT my job at Domino's Pizza. Thats right... I QUIT... That's my first job i have ever quit at anything, especially on the spot and especially not on good terms...A job is a job. I do my Job! Ive been taught not to quit or give up... or let people at my jobs get to me.. but i think i broke down tonight

Why? well this past two weeks, i had told them i would like to become a delivery driver... So i can make more money and pay bills and plus THEY NEEDED THE DRIVERS!!!! At first when i had asked, they didnt seem to have a problem with it. Then i had asked again earlier last week to see when i can start. Well Gary ( store manager ) said that the district manager had to make sure it was ok and for "liability" reasons...

First off, i was nice...i said ok no prob... but in my mind.. (Wat freakin liability reasons? i had over a year driving experience in delivery and perfect driving record and THEY needed drivers! so I WAS READY! )

Days go by, blah blah blah, i asked again..... Gary said the same thing "Oh he still checking and making sure if u are able to drive for liability reasons... then thats when i told him, thats crazy and about my experience of driving and etc.. They knew that cause i put that on my resume. REMEMBER im still bein nice and puttin up with them.

TODAY! i am on my way to work.... i show up twenty min early to talk to Gary.
of coursed i said hey all in good mood and asked wats up with the driving deal?

HE SNAPPED AT ME! said HEY U JUST GONNA HAVE TO STOP ASKING! AMIRUL ( the big guy ) SAID TO STOP AKSING AND HE WILL LET U KNOW....

......wow....
i kinda backed up and so so so so so so wanted to.................................................... not even gonna start.... but anyways i was like wat?! u serious? its been 2 weeks! and ur hurting with drivers bad...IM RIGHT HERE READY! ( i was kinda in a nice calm voice.. not screaming or anythign just made sure he knew i was upset.)
told them id be right back..

went out side... all teary eyed... calledmy Mother and told her i wanted to quit. told her wat had happend and etc.

1. Im not happy there...
2. I stayed there for to long to put up with them..working like maybe 10 hours( if lucky ) a week..
3. What freaking liability issue that this guy is talking about? i have experience, i am ready, perfect driving record(well ok, maybe one seatbelt and rolling thru a stop sign at 4 am in the morning) its been over 2 weeks they could have found out already.... Gah!
4. and im not happy there. i think i said that earlier.

well.. i couldnt stay there any longer putting up with him.. and the B.s.

FINALLY, WALKED IN, HANDED MY SHIRT AND HAT...WALKED OUT

ok...so here i am after drivin around town ballin my eyes out and playin a few rounds of game online....

I dont know how u all think about that, but it doesnt matter right? Its done and over with. Ill be finding me a job in no time.. right now im clueless... right now im worried.....right now im scared... right now im wondering wats goin on at the store and wats everyone saying and etc.. I hate having enemies. I hate the fact that i left a job on bad terms... its killing me...

i am ok ( a little ) knowing m y mom is ok with it and supportive...

WELL IM DONE FOR NOW... FEEL FREE TO LEAVE COMMENTS. LOVE YOU

My First Blog

Hmmmm... After days of reading my "mother"s' also knows as http://dandywalker.blogspot.com/ or Laurie, who has been like a mother to me for most of my younger years. Ive caught myself just narrating my life at night.

My name is Raymond Kawasaki...I may not be a very bright kid when it comes to "blogging" it all out. but at the end of the blog, i'll feel better. or maybe understand better what had happend earlier in the day.

So as for my 1st blog.......... how about some information about myself? i wont tell to much cause ur just not ready at the moment.

• I am currently 22 years and 4 months and 19 days old. means i was born on december 31st, 1984... sorry mother. wat a way to spend the last day of 1984 and beginning of 1985.
• I am an ALIEN!! no but i swear thats wat most children think when they see me! I am double above the knee amputee with major hearing lost and missing fingers... another name for it is PERFECT! ha oh ...welll.....ok maybe not.
• I am a junior at Oklahoma State University. "go pokes" with an Associates in science from East Central University.

ok thats all u need to know!

just kidding, theres more than alot about me id love to share..but u can only handle so much at once. :)